Why Can’t Western Colorado Have a ‘Real Life’ Superhero? [POLL]

Several communities around the nation have real life superheroes. That is actually what they refer to themselves as: Real Life Superheroes, or RLSH for short. Seattle has Phoenix Jones and Purple Reign. Atlanta has Crimson Fist. New York has Nyx. Grand Junction had Speedo-Man. Not only did Speedo-Man not fight crime, he was constantly getting busted and cited with Indecent Exposure. Why can't we have a real super hero, too?

Near as I can tell, the real life superheroes out there are not on any government payroll or subsidies. They typically operate within the boundaries of the law. In every case I've seen, these crusaders are actually valuable assets to the community. So, then, why don't we have one?

Here is a short list of some very practical and "geographically valid" potential superhero concepts.

• Name: Mesa-Man
• Power: He flattens things. He takes objects of all shapes, and flattens them. Turns them into "mesas."

• Name: Junction-Man
• Power: He combines things. He takes two independent objects, for example an umbrella and a bicycle wheel, and McGyvers them into a useful crime fighting tool.

• Name: The Homeless Avenger
• Power: Isn't it about time someone took one of those people standing on the corner with the "will work for food" sign and call their bluff? This crime fighter could patrol the area around the bus station, and stop people from using the public restroom at 5th and Main for purposes other than what it was designed for.

• Name: The Temporal Tiger
• Power: This crusader is still reliving his or her past glory from Grand Junction High School from back in 1986. They could patrol the streets in their brown Z-28 that already had over 100,000 miles when their parents gave it to them in 1984. The Temporal Tiger could patrol the fast food district on North Avenue between 7th and 12th, watching for kids who are walking too far out in the street at lunch time.