Do you read the Blotter in the Grand Junction Daily Sentinel? Perhaps things aren't all that bad in the valley. Check out the "Close Encounters of the Weird Kind" with these Greeley Police Department reports.

Personally, I stopped reading the Blotter for fear I would lose all faith in the human race. After reading these reports taken from the Greeley Police Department's daily logs, I may have a change of heart. Grand Junction has it made in the shade. Yes, we get the occasional stolen bike, DUI, and a fight or two, but rarely do we see anything like this.

For our purposes today, it's not the severity of the crime, but rather the oddity, which brings it to our front pages. Here are five random reports from the Greeley Police Department for your consideration. Courtesy of the Greeley Tribune, these reports were shared on Tuesday, February 26, 2019.

  • 1

    Sick Duck

    Feb. 19 - 3 p.m.

    Police responded to Glenmere Park for a report of a sick duck on the south side of the pond that couldn't fly. An officer spoke with the caller, telling her it was actually a perfectly healthy goose that was in a good place because the park provided plenty to eat.

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  • 2

    Through the Looking Glass

    Feb. 20 - 12;45 a.m.

    Police responded to the 1700 block of 31st Street Road for a report of a man who believed his neighbors had cut his telephone wires and were spying on him through his TV. (If his phone wires were cut, how did he call police?)

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  • 3

    Multiple Personalities

    Feb. 20 - 8:15 a.m.

    Police responded to a hotel in the 700 block of 8th Street for a report of three people who think they're the same person.

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  • 4

    Busted in the Act

    Feb. 20 - 5 p.m.

    Police responded to a hotel in the 700 block of 8th Street for a report of a woman who caught her husband with a prostitute.

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  • 5

    Fashion Police

    Feb. 19 - 9 p.m.

    Police responded to the alley in the 1600 block of 11th Street for a report of three boys wearing bright-colored clothing, using excessive profanity and poking at objects.

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