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Real-Life Superhero ‘Phoenix Jones’ Makes a Disturbing Announcement

Phoenix Jones

Phoenix Jones, the real life superhero who patrols the streets of the Seattle area and leads the legion of crime fighters known as the Rain City Superhero Movement, has made a startling announcement which affects us all.

As of today, May 29th, Phoenix Jones has disbanded the Rain City Superhero Movement. While Jones is not entirely forthcoming as to his reasons for dissolving the group, he did provide some details.

Please note: when Phoenix Jones writes, he does so in all capital letters (just like the text in a comic book.)

I REALLY THOUGHT THAT HAVING A LARGE GROUP OF CIVILIAN CRIME FIGHTERS WAS A GOOD IDEA… I WAS WRONG. IT TAKES A CERTAIN TYPE OF PERSON TO DO THIS JOB CORRECTLY, AND UNFORTUNATELY, I HAVE INSPIRED, WORKED WITH, AND EVEN TAUGHT SOME OF THE WRONG KINDS OF PEOPLE. AS OF TODAY, THE RAIN CITY SUPERHERO MOVEMENT IS OVER.”

 

While the Rain City Superhero Movement is no more, Phoenix Jones maintains he will continue to fight crime and serve the citizens of the Seattle area.

I WILL BE PATROLLING SOLO… WITH SUPERS I TRUST. I WANT YOU TO KNOW, BY DOING THIS, I’M LOSING FRIENDS I HAVE SHARED UNFORGETTABLE MOMENTS WITH, BUT IF I’M GOING TO CALL MYSELF A SUPERHERO, I MUST HOLD MYSELF AND FRIENDS TO HIGH STANDARDS.”

 

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