Where Should Waylon Spend His 401K Money?

Last August marked not only a change in employment, but also an opportunity to cash in my 401K and put the hard earned money to good use. My only problem; where to spend all forty-three cents.

You heard correctly. After 14 years with my previous employer, my 401K accumulated a whopping forty-three cents. So, let's go shopping, and splurge 14 years worth of financial responsibility.

Darn! If I only had fifty-six cents more I could afford a guitar pick.

Forty-three cents is more than enough to get this autographed picture of a wrestler I've never heard of from Ebay. If nobody bids any higher, I could get it with money left over.

I could get 43 of whatever this is. Current high bid on Ebay right now... one cent.

Perhaps we should get this. A bargain at twice the price, and with two cents to spare!

I could invest the money to get in touch with a long lost friend. However, at forty-three cents, I'm two cents short of being to afford a postage stamp.

Of course, being the frugal guy I am, this money could simply be reinvested into another account, ultimately bringing forth financial rewards most could only dream of. If the entire forty-three cents were invested in a savings account today, bringing in an average of 3% interest over 10 years, my 401K consisting of forty-three cents could blossom into a little nest egg of fifty-eight cents.

The hard part in all of this? The decisions. Suddenly, long-lost cousins I've never heard of before in my life are coming out the woodwork wanting to be my buddy. No doubt they've heard of the good fortune that has been bestowed upon me. There are some hard choices to be made. I almost wish I hadn't invested in the 401K to begin with, and spared myself the agony of deciding how to distribute such extraordinary wealth.