If Grand Junction Bars Were Grand Junction Guys
There's a lot of different bars to choose from in Grand Junction. If these seven Grand Junction bars were Grand Junction guys, this is what they would be like.
Homeboy came here to "crush you at some foosball, bro." By the time he's made his way here, he's already drunk. He came here because he's not going home alone tonight, bro.
He's in college and frequents the Twisted Turtle on a regular basis. He is given a monthly allowance and always makes she he's got enough for some brewskis and shotskis for Sick and Twisted Saturdays.
This guy has been to 351 shows this year and makes to bring up how "sick" that is, as often as he can. He also makes sure to tell you his plan of going to at least 53 more before the year is over -- sick dude.
He wants to hang out with his boys and Charlie Dwellington's is their spot. He's watched Sons of Anarchy one too many times and is convinced he's Jax Teller. He may or may not sing the theme song on karaoke night.
This man is a husband who just wants to make his wife happy -- and wine makes her happy. During his date, he'll probably buy at least two bottles of wine before leaves. And will probably drink both within the next 24 hours.
He's recently retired and thoroughly enjoys talking about his retirement plans. And how "relaxed" he is now and how every day is a retirement celebrated. If he's younger, he's probably at Peach Street Distillery with his parents.
This dude is a Grand Junction local and has been going here since the day he turned 21. He wears cut off jorts on year round. His hobby is picking up girls, taking them home and never calling them again.