Stop the Insanity!  Wrote one of my therapeutic heros, Dr. John Rosemond.  He asserts that parents have changed, not necessarily children.

In my private practice I teach parents the "When you"  "Then you" to use with their children.  At one time this was known as "Grandma's Rule"  For years I have seen parents who implement this rule have wonderful results!

As adults, we live by "When you"  "Then you" all the time.  When I got to work and do my job, then I get paid.  When I obey the speed limit, then I don't get a ticket.  The inverse is also true, as I learned in my younger days!

For instance: "When you finish your homework, then you can have "screen time."  Or "When you don't finish your homework, then you do not get any "screen time."  The choice is up to them!!  And as the parent, you keep it their problem and you have less stress.  Just choose what is most important to each child, some it's a cell phone (not a constitutional right), or money, or the big dance, etc, etc.  If they don't get the desired outcome, it's on them!  Natural consequences, always the best teacher! (For all of us!)

I have seen five year clients in my office get this!  Of course they don't like it at first!!  You are not there to be their friend, you are there to be their parent!  You can be their friend when they are 25 and (hopefully) paying their own bills.  If you don't teach them "When you"  "Then you "  YOU just might be paying their bills when they are 25 and wondering why!

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