Are you man enough to put on some high heels and run in one of Grand Junction's signature events? The Men In Heels Race is just hours away, and after two consecutive spankings, our team is ready to try again.

This event is not to be taken lightly. Okay, that's a lie. It should be taken lightly. It's fun and silly, but ultimately it supports a very deserving cause. Take a look at what the competitors must go through to make it happen.

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Gentlemen, Start Your Heels

Gentlemen, not only will the high heels make your legs look ultra-sexy, but they'll also give you a less-than-competitive edge for this race. No doubt you can imagine the fun, and potential buffoonery, that comes with men in heels.


All for a Great Cause Right Here in Grand Junction, Colorado

When it is all said and done, this event benefits Hilltop's Latimer House, providing shelter and services to those affected by domestic violence. The race is fun, and all for a great cause.

We've Taken A Spanking For Several Years

The crew at the station competed in the 2018 event. I am very proud to say our team, the Heels Angels, came in dead last. I knew we were in trouble when I looked at our five-man team and realized that I, at the age of 48, was the youngest member of our team by almost a decade.

Tim Gray

For the 2020 event conducted at Grand Junction Regional Airport, the Townsquare Media team performed on par with the 2018 event. Put simply, we took dead last. In our defense, one of our team members suffered a catastrophic wardrobe malfunction when the six-inch heel on his neon-pink pumps blew out.

Keyes

Due to our poor performance over the last few years, the radio station team has been given an honorary title and will compete as an "exhibition team." It might just be my easily-bruised ego speaking, but I somehow suspect "exhibition team" is a delicate way of saying "freak show."

Grueling Fitness Regimen That We DIDN'T Do

So, how does one get in shape for an event such as this? Trust me, it's harder than it looks. Courtesy of Fashionlady, here are some helpful training tips:

  • Strengthen your ankles and perform ankle strengthening exercises for a week before you want to wear high heeled shoes.
  • Stretch your feet and ankles before wearing high heels. Build strength in the ankle area to run around in heels. This will help in reducing the chances for injury and damage.
  • Before making the decision of running in high heels, learn how to walk perfectly in them. It is important to balance yourself and run without falling.
  • Opt for thick or wide heels which will give your feet ample support. Running in stilettos can be dangerous and lead to sprained ankles.
  • While running around in heels, be cautious about any holes and uneven surfaces. It is hard to walk or run in high heels when you are walking on grass.
  • Practice perfect posture for running on high heels – Stand straight, make sure your hands are 6 cm away from your side and point your palm to the floor.
  • While you are walking on a flat surface, press the heel of your foot to the ground. Do this with the other foot and keep your posture while running. Add in some few hip swings into the run for cutting down the strenuous effort and for more bounce.
  • While running down the steps, it is easy to be on your toes. Lift the heel a little above the ground and step down in a way your foot lands in that position.
  • While running on pavement or sidewalk, ensure that your heels don’t get caught up in any surface or groove.

The suggestion about "add in a few hip swings into the run for cutting down the strenuous effort and for more bounce" is particularly helpful. I think that's what our team did wrong last year - not enough hip swing. We won't make that mistake again.

Tournament of Kings... in Heels

Are you man enough to sport some heels and compete in this race? Training begins now! The event kicks off today (Thursday, October 14, 2021) at Grand Junction Regional Airport with the first racers out of the gate at 5:30 p.m.

Not to be a fuddy-duddy, but I suspect my next post, an afterglow post, will report yet another brutal spanking.

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