The Dumbest Criminals in Colorado
Who doesn't love a good 'stupid criminal' story? I know I do, and I'd be willing to bet that you do, too. There's no shame in it. Honestly, finding amusement when somebody fails hilariously while committing a crime is likely the only entertainment that we all have in common, these days. They're easy to find, too, even out here in Colorado.
So, let's come together and laugh at some of the dumbest criminals our state has ever seen. If, at any point, you start to feel bad about laughing at another's misfortune, remember these two things: these stories are objectively hilarious, and these jerks earned every bit of shame that they're about to receive. Let's begin!
A 68-year-old bank robber wore his own name on his shirt.
As you might imagine, he was swiftly apprehended: it took Denver area police only about 5 hours to catch this guy. It probably didn't help that he was driving his own car, either...
In Colorado Springs, you always show ID.
...even when you're committing a crime. The perp in question allegedly robbed a convenience store, including the theft of a bottle of scotch that he proceeded to card himself for. Yeah, the guy showed his own ID to the clerk. Cops caught him in 2 hours. Sorry 'bout your luck.
You have to appreciate a commitment to the organization.
For example, a man in Fort Collins allegedly burglarized a local theater. He was apprehended fairly easily, and officers were likely already familiar with him, as he had helpfully left a folder of his own court documents at the scene. See: organized.
Honorable Mention: Man drives through Grand Junction Police Department
In case you missed it this week, a man decided to drive into the lobby of the Grand Junction Police Department. He claimed that he thought he was being followed. Luckily, no one was hurt, so we all get a story to laugh about for the rest of the year. I'd say it's worth it, but we're still waiting on the total estimate to fix everything. The good news: it should be less than $1 million!