The Midnight Writer is a freelance writer and contributor to popular websites and magazines. He's written three humor books and often writes while under the influence. Under the influence of what, he will not say.
The Midnight Writer

Erin Andrews & Charissa Thompson of Fox Sports 1 Are Our First Ever ‘Double Celeb Crushes’
In case you're unaware, or don't care about sports, Fox Sport 1 launched last week.

Baltimore Ravens are Super Bowl XLVII Champions
The Baltimore Ravens survived a late 49ers surge, a controversial non-call in the endzone and a 34-minute power outage to win Super Bowl XLVII by a score of 34-31.

Courtney Lenz, Baltimore Ravens Cheerleader, Claims She Wasn’t Included on Super Bowl Trip Because of Weight
Courtney Lenz, a five year veteran of the Baltimore Ravens cheerleading squad, is claiming the team left her off the trip to the Super Bowl because of her "slight weight gain." Oh deer! Sorry, I meant dear. Force of habit with this squad.

Check Out This DeLorean Converted Into a Hovercraft
Roads? Where we are going we don't need roads. A body of water wouldn't hurt though.

Sam Gordon, 9-Year-Old Female Football Phenom, Invited to Super Bowl
Remember Sam Gordon, the 9-year-old female version of Tecmo Bo Jackson? So does NFL commissioner Roger Goodell. Her Pee Wee football highlight reel and gaudy season stats got the attention of NFL executives. She was invited to the Super Bowl in New Orleans after hanging out with Goodell at a Giants game.

Guy Builds Limo of Junk Parts Worth $1M
If you collect enough junk, and add up the value, it will eventually be worth something -- especially if you attach all that crap to a limo.

Watch This Intense Giraffe Fight and Never Make Fun of Giraffe Again Because They Would OWN You
In this teaser for Discovery channel's upcoming documentary series Africa — which premieres January 8th — two giraffe go absolutely bonkers on one another.

Watch This BMW Execute the Worst Parking Job Ever
We'll admit that parking spots are getting smaller in most parking lots but this driver is parking her BMW like she's trying to fit a submarine into a kid's pool.

Urban Shredder From Hot Wheels Sure to Be on Most Dangerous Toy List this Holiday
The Urban Shredder from Hot Wheels looks like every kid's moist dream and every parent's biggest nightmare.

‘Greek Elvis’ Left Rare Lamborghini In a Hotel Parking Lot For Thirty Years
It must be nice to be so filthy rich that a gifted Lamborghini Miura S can just rot in a parking garage for thirty years and, eh, no big deal. It must also be cool to be 'Greek Elvis' but let's focus on the car.