Waylon’s Christmas Shattered

This was a sucky Christmas. All the good tidings and cheer don't mean nothin' when you're dealing with a tragedy like the one I was forced to endure this season.

I purchased my first genuine artificial simulation Christmas tree exactly 20 years ago. For 19 of those 20 years, one particular ornament has served as a fixture on that tree. This year, tragedy struck, and the aforementioned ornament was destroyed.

Okay, so it's not destroyed, but is damaged beyond recognition. Okay, so it's not damaged beyond recognition, but it is damaged more than I want it to be.

The starboard disruptor cannon is completely destroyed. If this were the actual Bird of Prey, its defenses would be diminished by 33%.

By now, you are no doubt asking, "Waylon, why don't you go get a little Super Glue and fix it?" What do think I am, made out of money?

You've probably even asked, "Waylon, why don't you go on Ebay and buy another one for $3.99 plus shipping?" There's a very simple answer to that question. Any Klingon Bird of Prey ornament I could buy on Ebay wouldn't be.... this ornament.

My parents tried to ease my pain by purchasing this ornament for me.

Okay, that helps. Okay, it helps a bunch. However, it doesn't solve my original problem.

It took Scotty 18 months to redesign and refit the original Starship Enterprise. Let's see if I can get the starboard disruptor cannon on the Bird of Prey fixed by Christmas of next year.