How do you feel about the so-called solicitors here in Grand Junction? Maybe they just really like my neighborhood?

Came across this the other afternoon on a friend's door. You might not get the dichotomy right away. That's OK, let it sink in.

Isn't that the point of this sign? To let those individuals know that this household is not interested in anything you have to peddle or preach. Then, to still have them leave their words and wares? Maybe some are unfamiliar with the definition of that word.

So, from here is the definition of the word solicit.

1: to seek for (something) by entreaty, earnest or respectful request, formal application, etc.
2: to entreat or petition
3: to seek to influence or incite to action, especially unlawful or wrong action.
4: to offer to have sex with in exchange for money

I didn't expect the "sex offer" part of the definition because I have never -- wait, let me think, nope -- had a stranger knock on my door with that particular offer. Looks like number three is my white whale.

I bought one of these signs because I was fed up with strangers knocking on my door looking to either sell me something or convert me into their particular brand of religion.

Most of them, I'm sure, are fairly harmless, but the religious ones seem to be a little more persistent. I have been approached several times by those young men dressed in matching suits and ties asking what my relationship with God is like. I hate to be rude, but that is none of your business. I don't even share that with friends and family, why would I tell a complete stranger?

Listen, I know that it is a part of this young man's job or his calling or maybe his rite of passage, but when I say "No, thank you," that should end the conversation. It never does. They always squeeze in three or four more questions. That is what is annoying.

As Bill Engvall says "Here's your sign."

BONUS VIDEO: Keyes Flies With the USAF Thunderbirds

More From 99.9 KEKB - Grand Junction's Favorite Country