Real Life Superhero Phoenix Jones is a Little Disenchanted with Disneyland
Real life superhero and leader of the Rain City Superhero Movement, Phoenix Jones, is a little disenchanted with the magic kingdom following a recent visit. Phoenix Jones took his son to California for some family business, and when not fighting crime, decided to swing by Disneyland. While the experience was a happy one, he does share a few thoughts on some items needing improvement.
Phoenix Jones primary concern revolved around what he felt was an unfair policy regarding one's size and their ability to go on a ride. According to Phoenix Jones, "MY SON IS TOO BUFF AND SHORT TO GO ON STAR WARS RIDE THAT IS NOT EVEN GOING ANYWHERE." He adds, "IT'S A SCREEN SIMULATION AND A MOVING SEAT." He validates this statement by saying, "MY SON IS 38-INCHES TALL... YODA IS ONLY 26-INCHES TALL.... I KNOW THEY LET HIS [YODA] ASS ON THE RIDE."
He also added another concern, one most of us can relate to, regarding the cost of food at the park. He says, "A PICKLE IN A BAG COST $4.50... MINIMUM WAGE WHERE I LIVE IS A LITTLE SHORT OF TEN DOLLARS. He jokes, "THEY BETTER COME WITH PIXI DUST AND MAGICAL POWERS FOR THAT AMOUNT."
One Disney attraction Phoenix Jones really enjoyed, though, was the costumed "Thor" character roaming the park. "THE GIANT WHITE DUDE RUNNING AROUND IN THE THOR GEAR SMASHING HIS HAMMER ON THE GROUND IS COOL, THOUGH," he said.
Rest assured, Phoenix Jones did pack his supersuit, and does plan to fight crime while in Anaheim. He is looking for area superheroes that might be interested in joining him. Applicants must be at least 18 without any felonies on their record. If interested, email Phoenix Jones at: GUARDIANOFSEATTLE@GMAIL.COM