Nincompoop in the News-August 20th-Man Licks Remote

According to the Huffington Post Russell Neff is being accused of breaking into a house last week, stripping down to his Birthday Suit, eating a Chicken Pot Pie and then licking the remote.

The homeowner heard Neff banging on the door, so he went upstairs and called 911. When the police showed up Neff was making himself pretty comfortable in the home owners leather recliner, in his undies, licking the remote and waiting for his pot pie to be done cooking in the microwave.

Why Neff was licking the remote is unexplainable. Doesn't he know that the remote is the dirtiest thing in motel rooms let alone in homes of people you don't know?

Neff resisted arrest but was eventually taken into custody for breaking and entering, theft of a chicken pot pie, burglary, malicious destruction of property, resisting arrest and of course for being a Nincompoop in the News.