Professional writer for Uproxx.com, GammaSquad.com, Guyspeak.com, Guyism.com, Zug.com, and innumerable other sites. He writes the Internet, basically.
Dan Seitz
Happy 68th Birthday, Godzilla!
The star of the longest film franchise in history turns 68 today, celebrating a long career in film, animation, and advertising. We are referring, of course, to the King of the Monsters himself, Godzilla. Below, a retrospective of his highs and lows.
Woman “Shot Dead” At Wheel Just Drunk Zombie
Some costumes are awesome in their cleverness, or awesome in their humor, or awesome because they're so convincing. Of course, sometimes a convincing costume will cost you, as an anonymous Birmingham woman found out.
Drug Smugglers Try To Cross Border Fence With Ramps… And Get Stuck
Drug smugglers try to get across the border fence in a multitude of different ways, ranging from digging tunnels to climbing the wall. But a particularly industrious group tried to do it with a little engineering... and failed miserably.
The Internet Picks Out ‘The Simpsons’ Funniest Signs
The Simpsons is not a show that's shy about stuffing gags into every corner of the frame. And, after nearly a quarter century on the air, the show has quite a few signs. Here's a strip of what seems to be the Internet's favorite gags from the beloved show. Fair warning, it's a long image.
Thief Thwarted In Hilarious Swedish Ad
We don't want to ruin this ad, so we're not going to tell you what company it's for, or what it does. We'll only tell you that it's from Sweden and that it's a riff on Apple Store robberies that happen occasionally. Suffice to say it demonstrates that some companies are very much on top of their game...
Football Player Flips Over Would-Be Tackle
There's a lot of argument over this anonymous clip. Not about the guy doing a forward flip right over the person about to tackle him: That's obviously a display of athleticism. No, some people think it was "staged" and others argue it happened spontaneously...
Obese Dachshund At Center Of Facebook Custody Battle
You may have heard about Obie the Obese Dachshund, a dog that weighs 77 pounds and is literally twice the weight of a healthy dog. The good news is that Obie is currently on a diet and engaged in hydrotherapy (he's too fat to walk, literally.) The bad news is that he's currently the center of a bitter custody battle.
Ronald McDonald Broke The Law By Going To McDonald’s
You'd think if your name is Ronald McDonald, you would be welcome in any of the thousands of McDonald's restaurants around the world.
In certain situations, however, this is not the case.
Man Tries To Cook Squirrel With Blowtorch, Burns Down Apartment Complex
If you're going to cook and eat a squirrel, for some inexplicable reason, we can stake with confidence that a blowtorch is not the way to go about doing it.
Meet The Self-Walking Dog
As any dog owner knows, most dogs love walks, but walks are time consuming. So this very polite dog learned how to walk himself, complete with carrying his own leash. In fact, he's a better and more well behaved pedestrian than some humans we know...