Charles Bramesco
No One Enjoyed the Cubs’ World Series Win More Than Bill Murray
Late last night, a little after the midnight hour, Hell froze over. Reports of pigs and other assorted swine growing wings and taking flight started pouring in from all over the country. Dogs and cats were living together — it was mass hysteria, all because the Chicago Cubs had finally won the World Series after a 108-year drought.
Superman Only Has 43 Lines of Dialogue in ‘Batman vs. Superman’
The number 43 has held many different significances over the years. The newest significance of the number will surely eclipse any previous, however: heretofore, the number 43 shall be known as the exact number of lines of dialogue spoken by Henry Cavill‘s Superman in Batman vs...
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Latest ‘Secret Life of Pets’ Trailer Feels a Lot Like ‘Toy Story’ But With Animals
When Illumination Entertainment announced the basic premise for their upcoming The Secret Life of Pets — an animated adventure-comedy about the shenanigans our furry pals get into while we’re away at work for the day — it sure sounded an awful lot like Toy Story...
Man Arrested For Failing to Return VHS Copy of ‘Freddy Got Fingered’ 14 Years Ago
In precisely the sort of absurdist mix-up that sounds like something Tom Green would come up with, a North Carolina man has been arrested for failing to return a VHS copy of the Tom Green comedy Freddy Got Fingered 14 years ago. The Wrap relays the odd tale of James Meyers, the unfortunate soul that checked out a tape of the widely reviled but cult-beloved surrealist comedy at a video store in Kan
Chinese Theaters Cut Down on Cell Phone Use With Lasers, Shaming
China’s been ahead of the Western curve for some time now. The U.S. economy cowers before the might of Chinese manufacturing prowess, and some of Hollywood’s most popular blockbusters have catered to Eastern tastes. By 2025, we will all have a workable knowledge of Cantonese. But for now, China has made its latest leap forward in the field of etiquette, more specifically movie theater etiquette, and even more specifically, how to deal with a-holes who won’t stop using their cell phones during a movie. Polite whispered requests, chair-nudging, chair-kicking, and in-theater doxxing have all proven ineffective in the continuing war on America’s rudest audience members. China’s contrived a smarter, more futuristic mode of combatting these menaces.
New Trailer for ‘Ice Age: Collision Course’ Goes to Space Because Shut Up, That’s Why
Historically, the addition of space travel into the mix has never failed to revitalize a flagging franchise. Take Clive Barker’s series of Hellraiser films, for instance: four films in, and the engine was losing steam. So for Bloodline, the film split into a triptych across centuries, the frame story for it all taking place on a spacecraft orbiting Earth. Demonic tormentor Pinhead killing people on Earth — not very scary, but Pinhead killing people in space — I’ll take two tickets, please. So, in this respect, Ice Age: Collision Course is without a doubt the Hellraiser: Bloodline of the Ice Age franchise.
‘Pee-wee’s Big Holiday’ Trailer Promises Fun, Antics, Wordplay
There are few TV shows as purely, innocently, and energetically delightful as Pee-wee’s Playhouse, the Saturday morning vehicle for Paul Reubens’ grey-suited man-child. An adult perpetually trapped at the stage of early boyhood in which kids mostly say funny nonsensical things and that’s it, Pee-Wee and his colorful gang of anthropomorphic pals brought a hefty dose of camp humor to the happy shiny
The New ‘Mother’s Day’ Trailer Loves You, Just Wishes You’d Call Sometimes
Having already planted his flag of squeaky-clean ethnically homogeneous courtship on New Year’s Eve with New Year’s Eve, Valentine’s Day with Valentine’s Day, and America’s most tragic hour with 9/11 Remembrance Day, Garry Marshall will expand his Holiday Cinematic Universe with Mother’s Day this spring. Slated for a release on April 29 — which isn’t even Mother’s Day, so what the hell — the ensem
Sylvester Stallone Says ‘Creed’ Will Be His Final Appearance as Rocky
So, stop us if you‘ve heard this one before: it’s now 2016, yet another Rocky picture has dealt the box-office a swift uppercut, and Stallone is done, seriously, you’ll see, he means it now.
Adam Sandler, ‘Fantastic Four’ Lead 2016 Razzie Nominations
The 2016 Razzie Awards have been announced and Adam “The Sandman” Sandler leads the pack with a rare double nomination in the Worst Actor category, for his combined efforts in The Cobbler and Pixels — we can only assume that as an online-only release, Sandler’s performance in The Ridiculous Six was ineligible, and prevented him from earning the coveted hat trick of crappiness. Along with Pixels, Paul Blart 2, Fantastic Four, Fifty Shades of Grey and Jupiter Ascending fill out the most hotly contested race of Worst Film.