The fact that I've written this training guide doesn't imply that I'm actually capable of doing it, but rather that I'm suggesting you do it. Here is a list of essentials for prepping for next month's Insane Inflatable 5K.

Competing in an obstacle course is kind of like flying a plane; the take off and the landing are the hard part. Everything else in between is easy. Train hard at the art of "getting out of the gate." Once you have mastered the execution, everything else will fall into place.

You must be in control of the inflatables, or else, the inflatables will be in control of you, Grasshopper.

Where bipeds are concerned, vertical tends to work best when competing.

For the Insane Inflatable 5K, it is best to master one technique before moving on to the next.

Keep your eye on the prize. Don't let distractions divert your attention from your goal.... or the finish line.

Always be training. Utilize every opportunity to train, even if it is from home. I'm really bummed this young man didn't use something with better video quality.

Learn from others. This lady probably has some good advice. I'm not really sure. I keep watching this video over and over, but with the volume off. Not sure why.

There you have it, my complete training guide for the Insane Inflatable 5K, coming to Country Jam Ranch on May 10th.

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