Irish Jokes to Help You Celebrate St. Patrick’s Day

These jokes are Irish. Some even have a tie-in to St. Patrick's Day. You'll note, however, I never said they were particularly funny. What do you say we celebrate St. Patrick's Day with some good ol' Irish humor?

The following jokes are courtesy of "The Holiday Spot."

Why did St. Patrick drive all the snakes out of Ireland?

He couldn't afford the plane fair. Badaboom!

What do you call a diseased Irish criminal?

A leper con. Ba doom boom!

A guy walks into an Irish pub and says "Hey, I have some Irish jokes."

One of the patrons says, "Hey, now, I'm Irish."

The other man replies, "Don't worry, I'll tell them slowly." Ba da bing!

These next jokes are courtesy of "Aha Jokes."

Pat and Mich landed themselves a job at a sawmill. Just before morning tea, Pat yelled, "Mick, I lost me finger!"

"Have you know?" says Mich. "And how did you do it."

"I just touched this big spinning thing here like thi.......  Darn! There goes another one!"

Paddy was tooling along the road one fin day when the local policeman, a friend of his, pulled him over.

"What's wrong, Seamus?" Paddy asked.

"Well, didn't ya know, Paddy, that your wife fell out of the car about five miles back?" said Seamus.

"Ah, praise the Almighty!" Paddy replied with relief. I thought I'd gone deaf!"